But tonight…oh, my heart.
The last couple of days have been so sad. I know she’s in pain and it makes me hurt for her. When I pick her up and put her head up to my shoulder, chest to chest, she wraps her arms around my neck and shoulders now and grabs my shirt and/or hair in both fists, holding on tight. She has been falling asleep like that on my shoulder; she hasn’t slept like that since she was a newborn.
I was rocking her to sleep tonight, in that position, and she grabbed on tight as usual, then stuck her fingers in her mouth to chew as hard as she can. She fell asleep whimpering, face nestled into my neck. I closed my eyes and wanted to cry for her, feeling my heart break.
I am so, so glad that all the little things she has gone through in her five and a half months are nothing serious; this momma instinct is becoming Momma Bear. But I would gladly take it all on for her, gladly fight all her battles for her, if I never had to hear her whimper like that again.
