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Archive for August, 2009

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…I promise an update post is coming. I am just extremely tired tonight. Little Miss C was up last night crying, and was inconsolable unless I was holding her tight to my chest. I sang to her until she calmed, though she still did not want any part of going back to bed. We rocked in the glider for a while, which was nice. She hasn’t liked to be rocked much in a couple of months now. But she likes to lean up on my chest, pushup style, and stare at me with this big silly smile on her face – okay, I’m gushing. But seriously, she is my angel. I hope tonight’s sleep is better, for both of us. -crosses fingers-

I will write more tomorrow.

Love.

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determination

I don’t care what it takes, I’m going to make today BETTER than yesterday. I may be tired, frustrated, and sick of fighting with people who have IQ’s equal to my shoe size, but my little girl will only see me with all smiles and snuggles.

Love always.

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Protected: justice and injustice

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We’ve been discussing this a bit on Twitter this morning, so I wanted to bring it here for purposes of length. The men today are astonishing. I am finding out more and more than husbands/boyfriends treat their significant others very badly, or do what mine has done and treat them badly on top of the damage they’ve already caused.

I want to know why. I want to know why this is an epidemic. Has it always been this bad, and we just don’t talk about it? Or is it truly getting worse with each new generation of boys and men? Either way, the women today are truly getting a raw deal, for lack of a better phrase.

I want to know if it has to do with how we raise our sons today. If we continue to put up with bad treatment and it’s seen in front of our children, our daughters learn that it’s something they will just have to endure when they one day get married, and our sons learn that it’s okay to treat women with disrespect; they will just have to put up with it. Are we sending the wrong messages to our kids?

Or is it something else entirely? Do today’s women not realize that how their husbands are treating them is NOT normal – particularly if there was a negative male influence in their childhood? I myself had no father in the picture; he was a deadbeat who never wanted kids, and certainly never wanted me. My stepfather was not exactly a role model either. I say that I’m living my mother’s life for a reason.

Certainly my own background affected my decision making skills when it came to choosing my husband – but the opposite way. I always prided myself on choosing a man who was the total opposite of what I had experienced growing up: he professed faith in God, he was sweet, funny, affectionate, extremely intelligent, would never even consider hitting a woman or cheating on her. Wanted kids, wanted a family of his own early on. He loved me so much; it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He made me feel special, beautiful, and completely adored.

So what happened? Did society and the people he’s surrounded himself with now, affect his decision making skills today? Did he just wake up and say, “I’m going to ruin my own life and the lives of these two girls I love”? Or was he this person all along? New revelations from him are pointing towards the last.

What has happened to the men we love?

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Protected: Where did half my heart go?

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