Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
We had another custody/support mediation this morning. It went well; significantly better for me than for him. The current situation has been that he is paying the bills still, and giving me money each week for child support, groceries, etc. He had it estimated to X amount per month, and for a lot of reasons, is apparently willing to continue down that route. Thus, the agreement stands that he will continue to pay X amount per month in support, and he’s agreed – though it’s not in writing – to continue paying the bills. They are all in his name anyway but for the cable, so there’s really no reason for him to stop paying on them. It would hurt his credit, and that’s the last thing he wants. I know it sounds like a loophole, but I really don’t think he would stop, and if he does, I’ll take him back to court for the full amount.
If it’s a broken part, replace it
But, if it’s a broken arm then brace it
If it’s a broken heart then face it
As far as my moving to Indiana is concerned: he and the mediator both seemed surprised that I was still wanting to go, and he then stated that he wouldn’t even have asked for the meeting had he known. How could he NOT know? He knows I don’t want to stay here, under any circumstances.
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
I made it quite clear what my intentions are, and what my options are for once I get there. I have the possibility of a job, I have definite childcare, and plenty of housing possibilities. The mediator kept trying to tell me that it would be a difficult argument, taking her away from her father and all. But I just stood my ground, and I think I irritated her. But really – did they just expect I would just roll over and give up once they told me it would be hard? I’m a lot more tenacious than that, and this is what I feel is best for both LMC and I.
I brought up the fact that there is no real reason, other than his job, that he couldn’t follow us there eventually. We packed up everything and moved from Indy to here four years ago, and it took him a year to get hired with the fire department here. Yes, it was a long process, but why couldn’t he do it again to see his daughter, when all he’d have left here is that job? No family, only a few friends. But regardless, what he does, doesn’t do, or could do, is not part of my argument to the judge. I just have to prove that I can make a better life for her there.
I have to file a motion in likely October, to get a hearing and present my case in time enough to move. That doesn’t give me much time
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I’m doing everything
I dropped the restraining order last week in court. I really had no other choice; it’s difficult to explain publicly, so I won’t.
Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?
There are so many other things going on that I wish I could discuss. Maybe I will later, in another protected post. I have had a lot of decisions to make lately, and even a few more interesting ones that don’t have anything to do with my divorce, thankfully. I will just say – people come into your life for a reason. Certain timing, for a reason. I’m going to enjoy being single for quite some time, but it would be nice to know if I do end up with someone wonderful someday. I would like the feeling of being precious to someone, again.
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you’re shocked it’s just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.
It’s a hard road I am walking, but I am not doing it alone. First and foremost, there is Someone watching over me at all times. Then, He’s brought me an absurd amount of wonderful new friends, whom I feel like I’ve known forever. I couldn’t say enough good things about these gals, besides the fact that I hope you yourself are blessed to be loved by wonderful people, too. We all deserve kindness, friendship, and community. We were made for “community”, as a good Book once told me.
Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold
I am just trying to remember and hold on to the fact that I am not alone, wherever I go.
You? Are amazing. That is all. I am SO proud of you. You have no idea. Love Love Love you girl!
I agree with Krystle. You are nothing short of amazing. And I hope you will stop being so hard on yourself, and take this time to enjoy that precious lil miss Caia. xoxo
You are the best. Anyone who doubts whether or not you have LMC’s best interests at heart only needs to read this. It hurts my heart that you are having to fight this so much when you were the one that was wronged & I can only hope & pray for you that this is taken care of sooner rather than later. I’m glad the mediation went better & more so in your favor today.
You are such an awe inspiring person! I look at your strength and am amazed each day.
Be strong, be calm and be patient. Things will happen as they are meant to be.
no you are right about that. you are NOT alone. and i’m so glad you’re willing to share your story with us. i’m grateful to be a part of your new journey to total happiness.
Ditto, you are not alone. I commend you for your strength and determination. You will make it through this and be able to look back with pride at how you handled everything. My hearts aches for you and all the pain and discomfort he has put on you, but I know you will get through this. HUGS.
You did very good! I know how difficult that was for you, but I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself. He may not want it, especially b/c it makes life more difficult for him, but it will be better for you and Caia. xoxoxo
Wow, you’ve done so much and accomplished more than you could ever dream. At least you are holding your own and demanding that he be responsible – that’s more than I ever did in beginning. You are strong – don’t forget that. I made the mistake recently of asking my husband if he would consider letting me go home for a year (to the UK) because I have a much better chance there financially. I could start to teach right away without certification, I could get somewhere rent free to live until I got a job (the benefits of being an Irish citizen) AND most importantly, I have a brother and sister who could give me moral support away from all the abuse and hurtful things he has done/continues to do to me and the children. I was hoping that by not asking for child support for a year, it would give me the chance to get back on my feet, give him a chance to get his act together and realise he will lose his children if he doesn’t. All it did was to enrage him even more and now he’s threatening to get an injunction.
Thanks to your strength, I did have the courage to go to the court on Monday and talk to a judge about getting a protective order. They only had to listen to three of his vitrolic phone calls and read the police report to agree. I decided at the last minute not to do it – but to let him know that I would if any of this continues. I think I probably should have done it – but like you say, it’s so much more complicated than it seems and my children would not be able to see him. Maybe that’s what he needs, I don’t know. I tried to meet him again today to discuss finances and he screamed so loud that people were staring at us. He simply frightens me. He drinks too much and I am scared that when he does, he will come over here and threaten us again. It’s a catch 22 situation, but I promise your experience has given me much more courage than I ever had before.
Keep going – you are amazing and need to believe that. We can all be there for each other and we “met” for a reason – God has landed so many people in my life the past two years that have been meant to be. We will hopefully meet one day in person and look back and be able to see some of this without the pain that we feel now.
I am your friend and ally. Send hugs and kisses to that beautiful baby girl.
Tricia 🙂 xx
Just replied on your site. XOXO.
you are precious to many.
xoxo
TG
You are doing such a good job with this! LMC is ridiculously lucky to have you as a momma, as you are doing exactly what is right for her.
xoxoxo
I’ve been out of the Twitter loop for a while, so I had no idea you were planning to move back to Indiana. Good for you. Hope it all works out. You & LMC are in my prayers.
You know you have a big support system out here. Rooting for you all the time! xoxo